Annoying Bugs

What’s up runts? I’m sure you’ve been seeing and hearing about me and my exploits all over the news, but just to remind you, I’m the big, fat, muscle hulk of a hairy giant bear who’s been destroying your cities and eating your populace for the past few months. Don’t ask me how I got this big….that’s a story for another time.

What I wanted to talk to you bugs about today is how annoying you little fucks can be. That’s right, even for a giant like me who can crush whole crowds of you under my foot without a though, I still have my problems! Where to begin…..hmm well you runts should know by now that I do love the chase, stomping down a street, crushing hundreds of abandoned cars as I step closer and closer to the fleeing crowds, knocking chunks of building down with my fists until I finally take that satisfying and crunchy step onto the many puny bodies, silencing their screams. But you know what’s just plain stupid? When you little shits beg for your pathetic lives. Don’t get my wrong, it can be kind of funny sometimes, but c’mon, after what you’ve seen me do, do you really think I’m going to spare your worthless life? I kinda love the sound of tiny sobbing or screaming as I dangle my latest victim over my gaping bearded mouth….and yes I understand how terrifying it must be! But sometimes you little bug screams are just so shrill, it really hurts my ears!