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Dear Advice Giant 88

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Dear Advice Giant,

How can I ever thank you enough! I’m the muscular 7’1” stalker who wrote you last week, and your advice for winning over my cute little neighbor was incredible, absolutely perfect. I’ve never been so happy! In fact, tears of joy are trickling down my face as I write this.

I took all your advice and bought a bottle of fine wine, a huge tube of excellent lube, a bag of delicious warm cookies, and a stylish leather leash attached to a little leather collar with ‘TOBY-BOY’ written on it in shiny metal studs. Very snazzy! Yes, of course I knew his name, along with his Social Security number, his place of work, the vehicles he's owned, every one of his previous addresses, his college transcripts, and all his medical history. I’m very thorough in my stalking.

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